Ironically, when I wore this dress and posted it on instagram, I joked in my caption, “You can’t have a bad day in Polka Dots…” Little did I know later that night I would learn of the Vegas massacre. I had been kicking myself for taking too long to write posts and wanted to make this OOTD asap. I was planning on shooting, editing and writing all in the same day. My husband and I shot the pictures during the afternoon, after church and after we ate breakfast at this really cute Cuban restaurant. We were having an awesome, stoked on life, sort of day. As far as editing the pics and writing the post, I was going to get it done later that night. (I have a bad habit of waiting till bed time before getting in the groove of working). It was a little after 10pm and I thought to myself, “I’ll just watch some insta stories and then start working. I happen to follow Dan Bilzerian. Don’t ask why – I don’t particularly like the dude, but he showed up at the front of my stories. Clicked it, and that was my first introduction to what was happening in Vegas. You’ve probably seen the video. It’s a shaky, dark clip of himself running and saying something like, “Holy shit, this girl just got shot in the head! F*cking crazy.” And you can hear the crack of bullets in the background, and that’s it. Just a crazy, out of nowhere video of him saying he saw someone get shot. I was instantly in shock. Like, what did he just post? Was that a joke? I looked at his previous stories and saw he was at a country concert. I googled “shooting at Jake Owen concert.” At the time I didn’t know it was Route 91 in Vegas. Nothing came up. I was confused. Maybe it was a stupid joke. Dan is known to be crude. Then he had a new insta story further explaining what happened. I googled it again and again and nothing was coming up, and then I realized that whatever it was, it had just happened and hasn’t hit the news yet. Finally after refreshing my page over and over, an article showed up describing reports of an Active shooter at Route 91 Harvest, and it all start pouring in after that.
I didn’t write my OOTD post.
Instead, I stayed up until at least 2 am crying as I read articles and watched horrible videos. I texted people I knew were in Vegas. (All okay). As I’ve written in my most recent instagram, this event hit home with me. I have friends who attended this exact festival in years past. My friends and I have gone to Stagecoach multiple times, a very similar 3 day country music festival. I couldn’t stop imaging what it would be like to be in that situation. So many people, so much Chaos. It also brought back memories of when I received a text from my brother a few years ago that there was a man with a gun on his college campus. That man shot 3 people, killing one and probably would have killed more if my brother’s roommate hadn’t tackled him. My brother was in the very same building and could have died. Ever since that event, these shootings seem to hit home much harder. Once it happens to someone you love, it’s just different.
I couldn’t continue to even think about writing my blog post. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what I was wearing, or what the latest fashion trends were. It all seemed so insignificant. I just couldn’t. I took a break from Suburban Mango and just cuddled with my new puppy and felt sad for the entire day after the shooting. I knew I would come back, but I just needed that day…
The thing about these mass shootings is that they happen so often, we are somewhat callus to them. It’s too much to let ourselves feel debilitating depression ever time an event like this occurs, so we brush it off, pray it doesn’t happen again, maybe make a donation, and move on. I was attempting to brush it off when I came back to write this post, but it still felt weird to not acknowledge what happened. So here I am, writing my personal, (and insignificant), account of events from that day. Turns out, wearing polka dots, does not prevent you from having a bad day…
PS. I’m sorry for writing a sad post. I promise to write something happy next 🙂
O U T F I T D E T A I L S :
Shoes: Steve Madden